Lyrics

"Laundry Room"

Staring at my t-shirt
I’m trying very hard to tell you 

But you gotta meet me half way 

I only use a few words
And choosing them is hard I tell you 

So you better watch what you say 


Always the victim
But you can’t stand up, walk away 

And I might be projecting
But I can’t handle your shit today 

So if you need me 

 

I’ll be in the laundry room
But I won’t be washing off my clothes
I’ll come out if you want me to
But for now I’m keeping this door closed 

Until I gather my thoughts 


Well I’m so American

Avoiding all eye contact

Like a self-fulfilling prophecy 

Oh, be careful what you wish for

‘Cause this is what you wanted, kid

And there’s no gift receipt 

Out of prescription
So I’ll just take what I can get

It’s a war of attrition
And you’re just settling for less 

Oh, it’s not like I needed you 

Would you rather be silent?
In the same room?
Miles apart
But still face to face
 
I pick my battles
I play it safe
‘Cause I love

But there’s only so much I can take from you 

//

"A Terrible Film"

I never say that I’m sorry 

‘Cause I’m sorry all of the time

I make problems
When I try to solve my problems

I’m sorry all of the time 


And nobody cares if it’s all true
And nobody cares what it means to you

Just say it with conviction now 


You think I’m crazy

You don’t know crazy 

I talk to God every day
I make my problems

Somebody else’s problems

I talk to God every day 


And nobody cares if it’s all true
And nobody cares what it means to you

Just say it with conviction now 

I wanna know

It’s so quiet
You’re waiting with your eyes

It’s like a terrible film 

You’re such a cynic

It’s like a terrible film


And nobody cares if it’s all true
And nobody cares what it means to you 

//

"I Like Crashing My Car (Into Yours)"

I like making simple things real hard
And I like bumping into furniture in the dark 


I like crashing my car into yours when it’s parked
And I like to pretend that you helped me break my heart

But it was probably just me


I was born in the Garden but I thought it was a Food4Less

I wanna tell you that I love you, but I’ll probably just forget 


I like closing my eyes and running out in the street
If I can’t see you, then you can’t see me
But you can probably still hurt me
 
I never liked my birthday all that much
‘Cause people gotta give me and I gotta take all their love

I like the way I look with broken glass in my teeth
If you want me to smile, I’m probably gonna have to bleed 

//

"Knife to the Heart"

I shake like a patient
I can’t tie all the straps myself
Still waiting for the pills to kick me It might take a second

I’m sick like a stomach
I taste blood in the back of my throat I mix chemicals and holy water
It might take a second


Ooh ooh, I need the love of my mother

Ooh ooh, I need the love of my life


Somebody tear me apart again
I want my life to start again
And I need a knife to the heart again

I wanna feel alright


I birth my assassin
I leave all the doors unlocked

Red circle on my pale stomach

It might take a second


Ooh ooh, I need the love of my mother

Ooh ooh, I need the love of my life


Somebody tear me apart again
I want my life to start again
And I need a knife to the heart again

I just wanna feel alright


You take everything so serious

But what about me?

‘Cause I wanna feel alright


Taking it back, for sure
You say I won’t, but that never works

And you say we can still be friends

But I’ve never been good at pretend

And I need a knife to the heart again

//

"Siphon"

I’m starting to hate all of my friends

And I love my loneliness
I’m starting to hate all of their sympathy

And I don’t want forgiveness

 

But who are you to be the asshole?

What about all the persecution?
Is it worth the effort?
To unturn stones 

Or let them pass
But you feel unforgiven 

Oh, it’s love that you siphon from yourself

Oh, it’s love; but you suffocate so well 

 

I am my own priest
I do my own confession
I am not the Lord
But I do a good Impression


Chasing cars ‘till I know what I want
And I drain my heart until the blood is gone 

I still feel unforgiven 


Oh, it’s love
It’s love that you siphon from yourself

Oh, it’s love
It’s love; but you suffocate so well

You know you do


I’m starting to hate all of my friends

But I could do without the loneliness

I’m starting to be the asshole
Who just stays home
And saves himself 

But I feel unforgiven 


Oh, it’s love
It’s love that you siphon from yourself 

Oh, it’s love
It’s love that you siphon from yourself

You know you do 

//

"Homecoming"

It’s alright
You make it harder than it is

Don’t fight
Please don’t fight
There is no escaping this 


Just follow me

And come home 


You’re cute
We should talk
Call me back if you’re awake 

Don’t close your eyes
You’re staring true love in the face

Just stay with me

And come home


‘Cause I’ll never leave you 

You’re fine
It’s no surprise
You tried to flush me out with pills (and salt water) 


Follow your heart
‘Cause it’s already been taken home with me 

Come home
Stay with me


I’ll never leave you like they will 

//

"Holding My Breath"

I’m so sick of holding my breath
And I’m so sick of coming to terms with my death

I’m so sick of finding myself
And I’m so sick of asking God for help 


Because I’ll never be enough
I’ll never be enough for you
And what else do you want? What else do you want me to do?

‘Cause I’ll never be enough 


I’m so sick of calling my friends
I’m so sick of trying to transcend (manually)
I’m so sick of loving myself (manually)
And I’m so sick of pretending I don’t need help 


Because I’ll never be enough
I’ll never be enough for you
And what else do you want? What else do you want me to do? ‘Cause I’ll never be enough 


I’m standing perfectly straight up and down 

My posture is impeccable
I practice every day with this little book of exercises that my mother got for me
In the check out line at Barnes & Noble
In between the Altoids and People magazines
It’s simple really, you can do it yourself at home:


First, you take the book
You put it on your head
And you try to keep it there for five minutes

But don’t let the book fall down
And then you gotta start walking around, doing jumping jacks
Don’t let the book fall down
Then you gotta run up the stairs and talk to your friends and convince them you’re doing perfectly fine
Don’t let the book fall down
Then you gotta tell everyone that you know that you love them and you trust them 

And you’ll be there for them forever 

And don’t let the book fall down


But what happens when it does?
What are you gonna do when it does? 


What do you want from me?

Oh, I’m so sick of holding my breath 

//

"Follow Your Dreams"

Your dreams will not come true
No one will remember you
And everything you love will be taken from you

But you’re gonna be fine 

//

"Styrofaom"

The last time I saw you was a Long beach parking lot

Way back in December or January
We were sitting in the front seat of your sedan

Talking about our Fear of Death 

You think I’m morbid to bring up
But I think you’re pretty careless not to
And I guess that’s natural
But I just hope we’re still around to talk to our kids about Jesus and plastic CD cases 


‘Cause things have changed for me

Can’t say it’s for the best
Crack your ribs wide open
Start pulling it out
Just to see what you have left 


Well, don’t you forget
‘Cause I won’t
I remember everything you said 

Never know who you are 

Besides a voice inside my head

A voice that I won’t let you forget 


And to be completely honest-
I don’t remember much about the details of your facial structure

But one thing that does stick out
Is just how empty your eyes were

When you told me what you thought I wanted to hear 


And you’ll never know how hard I’m gonna try and let this go 

Just when you thought it was too good to be true 

Turns out it kinda was
Your entire life brought to you in a brown paper bag

With your name on the front - in sharpie


And now all that’s left are just little scraps of paper 

With your handwriting on them
And coffee stains
And I’m stuck in this perpetual conversation with Styrofoam People
Who in all their disposable permanence keep me trapped on the porch until I say 

Something relatively interesting that contrasts what they’re used to
All the while desperately trying to convince me that I’m something
Until I realize
That all I am
Is something else

//

"I Wake Up"

I wake up
I pull my money out
I got no reason to come back here 

I wake up 

To dreams I’m spittin’ out to myself
And I got no reason 

You take yourself

Too serious to be seen
Always desperate to disappear
Just blame yourself
Trying to forget that you were perfect

And she had no reason 

 
She said, “Dance”
I said, “Hello”
You’ve got just enough of me not to know

She said, “I’m waiting...”
I said, “Don’t”
So just give me a reason


Slit my throat
Tell me I’m the one
Just keep me breathing for long enough

‘Cause I still don’t know
Which you that you’ll become
In the moment
For no reason 


You’re kicking the old ones out

You’re the brand new resident

And you’ve only just begun 

Yeah you’re sticking the darkness out

But it’s so irrelevant
To who you’ve become 

//

EPHEMERA, ETC.

SONGS FOR FELIX